esse quam videri: To be, rather than to seem.
I've been reading John Eldredge's Wild At Heart. The book is about rediscovering the man's heart. What truly makes him go. It's initially very contrary to the stereotypical view of what the Christian male is suppose to be. Maybe that why I'm enjoying it so much.
The one part of the book I'm reading about now talks about how a majority of men are in fact pretenders. That the majority of the time, our actions are driven by an deep desire to become the wild, courageous, dangerous man we were meant to become however there is something that stops us, so all we become are mere shells of what we could and should be. Perhaps, deep inside, what drives a majority of our actions is the need to reaffirm our masculinity and approval of others. The only problem is, we are constantly searching for affirmation in the wrong places or simply expect it to happen without really earning it.
I was thinking about that premise of being a pretender at what I do. Every week, I drive to Pickering, grab a paddle, put on a life jacket and climb into a boat with 19 other team mates. This however, doesn't automatically make me a dragonboater, but a person that does dragonboating. For 4 years I studied engineering, however that does not automatically make me an engineer. The person who wishes to design and create is a true engineer. Likewise, the person who only acts like a believer of Christ in front of others but whose heart is elsewhere is merely a pretender Christ. I'm only speaking for myself, because I know my own actions.
esse quam videri. To be, rather than to seem. I don't want to pretend anymore. There's a caged animal that's waiting to come out, but I'm not willing to take the jump. I'm tired of envisioning all the potential that's in me but choosing not to make use of it. This constant self-sabatoge has got to stop now. I don't want to miss out anymore.
The one part of the book I'm reading about now talks about how a majority of men are in fact pretenders. That the majority of the time, our actions are driven by an deep desire to become the wild, courageous, dangerous man we were meant to become however there is something that stops us, so all we become are mere shells of what we could and should be. Perhaps, deep inside, what drives a majority of our actions is the need to reaffirm our masculinity and approval of others. The only problem is, we are constantly searching for affirmation in the wrong places or simply expect it to happen without really earning it.
I was thinking about that premise of being a pretender at what I do. Every week, I drive to Pickering, grab a paddle, put on a life jacket and climb into a boat with 19 other team mates. This however, doesn't automatically make me a dragonboater, but a person that does dragonboating. For 4 years I studied engineering, however that does not automatically make me an engineer. The person who wishes to design and create is a true engineer. Likewise, the person who only acts like a believer of Christ in front of others but whose heart is elsewhere is merely a pretender Christ. I'm only speaking for myself, because I know my own actions.
esse quam videri. To be, rather than to seem. I don't want to pretend anymore. There's a caged animal that's waiting to come out, but I'm not willing to take the jump. I'm tired of envisioning all the potential that's in me but choosing not to make use of it. This constant self-sabatoge has got to stop now. I don't want to miss out anymore.
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