Inconsiderate

The description fits the bill right on when describing the person I've been of late. What's funny about this is that I've always thought of myself as a person who is very considerate to others. Maybe that's wherein the problem lies. I've gotten too comfortable putting that moniker on myself and as a result, haven't put full thought into how some of my actions affect others. Self centered. No other way to describe it.

All the signs were there from the start too. I think I may have made a mistake I never thought I'd ever be accused of making, trying to do too much. If I look back on all the goals and ambitions that I've made for the beginning of summer there are two things I start to realize: 1) I don't think I fully appreciated how much of a commitment each goal needed to be effective and 2) Everything I've listed out may have had more of undertone of trying to put myself in the driver seat of my life rather than putting God first. Heck, I may have even had the mentality wrong from the start as well. The only problem with trying to live as if you are making up for lost time is that you can't possibly make up for all the things you missed out on in one summer. It takes another one of those things that I seem to lack these days as well, patience. My friend even pointed out too me that you're just killing yourself by doing so. The other sign was that as of late I had become very indifferent in a lot of things that I did. Taking a lot more things for granted and just not having that focus in place.

So now I am suffering and now I feel weak and vulnerable. In a way, this wakeup call is definitely a welcomed sight because the realization is giving me the chance to put things back in perspective. This has to happened and I know that when I overcome this, I will be stronger in spirit and in mind.