Breaking Free
Going home always feels a bit bittersweet for me. It's always nice to be able to see my family and friends, especially because I hardly see them on a frequent basis while I'm in school. Still, part of me always dreads physically being home just because there's are quite a few things that always remind me of the person I used to be and what drove me to become that type of person, in both a positive and negative sense.
Being away from home has allowed me to really discover who I am and try to develop into that person. Yet, when I'm at home, the temptation to revert back into my former self is sometimes all too great. One of the great thing about being on holidays is having that time to reflect on what's been going on in your life and being home has made me realized just far I've come and at the same time, how far I still need to go. There's a lot that of my past that I find I still have to face and overcome...most notably making to attempts to be disciplines, humbled and not so self centred.
When I went away from home I figured that I didn't have to worry about dealing my past mistakes for good. All this time, I've merely been running and hiding from my past rather than confronting it and that there still is a part of that past that's in the present. One of the toughest things for me to swallow is realizing just what the consequences have been for my actions, or inactions growing up. More than anything else, I really regret never being fully committed to anything I did and always settling for less. The biggest one that always comes to my mind is taking care of my physical health, which I am terrible at.
I think that to be able to truly break free from your past is to recognize that your entire past, mistakes and everything, is very much an important part of who we've become regardless how much we may not want to admit it at times. I've come to realize being forgiven for ours sins does not mean that we get away with it consequence free. That in fact, the only person that is stopping me from following God's path is me. That who I really am is quite the contrast to who I think I am. That part of being true to yourself is to recognize where you're weak.
I'm sure everyone has their own personal struggles that they have dealt with for a long time. I'm also sure that God constantly provides tests for the to overcome in his name. I think this may be God's biggest test for me yet...In fact, it's one that may have been going on for years. With his help, I pray to truly break free from that past I hold on to and not merely run from it. After all, God gives us the freedom to choose. Choosing to overcome it will only add credence to his glory.
Being away from home has allowed me to really discover who I am and try to develop into that person. Yet, when I'm at home, the temptation to revert back into my former self is sometimes all too great. One of the great thing about being on holidays is having that time to reflect on what's been going on in your life and being home has made me realized just far I've come and at the same time, how far I still need to go. There's a lot that of my past that I find I still have to face and overcome...most notably making to attempts to be disciplines, humbled and not so self centred.
When I went away from home I figured that I didn't have to worry about dealing my past mistakes for good. All this time, I've merely been running and hiding from my past rather than confronting it and that there still is a part of that past that's in the present. One of the toughest things for me to swallow is realizing just what the consequences have been for my actions, or inactions growing up. More than anything else, I really regret never being fully committed to anything I did and always settling for less. The biggest one that always comes to my mind is taking care of my physical health, which I am terrible at.
I think that to be able to truly break free from your past is to recognize that your entire past, mistakes and everything, is very much an important part of who we've become regardless how much we may not want to admit it at times. I've come to realize being forgiven for ours sins does not mean that we get away with it consequence free. That in fact, the only person that is stopping me from following God's path is me. That who I really am is quite the contrast to who I think I am. That part of being true to yourself is to recognize where you're weak.
I'm sure everyone has their own personal struggles that they have dealt with for a long time. I'm also sure that God constantly provides tests for the to overcome in his name. I think this may be God's biggest test for me yet...In fact, it's one that may have been going on for years. With his help, I pray to truly break free from that past I hold on to and not merely run from it. After all, God gives us the freedom to choose. Choosing to overcome it will only add credence to his glory.
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