Something Indescribable
Last Sunday, I witnessed something so amazing that it left me in tears. It was my very first time ever seeing a baptism service. WhenI found out that one of the people getting was someone that I knew, it shocked me. There's something about seeing someone publicly declare their love and faith for Christ and God that is indescribable.
When it all was happening just a multitude of feelings and thoughts came rushing to my head. Part of me was overwhelmed with joy seeing someone take that next big step in their spiritual journey torwards Christ and seeing how God has worked in their lives already. The other part of me felt so saddened and apologetic just by how far away I really had distanced myself from Christ over the past little while. It was one of the most bittersweet moments I had ever really experienced.
Over the past little while, I had felt myself taking a lot of things for granted and at times I just didn't care. I had found that all my attempts to be disciplined and making the most of all the talent wasn't really going anywhere and it really made me stop and think about why that was. A thought came to me that maybe instead of praying for God to teach me discipline, I'd pray that God fuel that desire in me to know him more, and through that the discipline will come. Maybe that's the lesson that God's been trying to drill in me over the past little while.
Lately, I almost feel that God is trying to prepare me for something. I had the chance to go to Rideau Heights and spend time with the kids up there, I was able to share with my friend how my faith has really affected me, I have my baptism coming up and recently I was asked if I wanted to lead a bible study for the winter retreat. The last one really surprised me. I was amazed by the fact that my name got mentioned when they were looking for people. I'm not sure if I'm even available to do it that weekend, but I'll pray about it.
The one big thing I took out of all of this is knowing that their are people out there who believe that I could be considered a worthy candidate for leading bible study. I can't help but feel honoured. Knowing this really struck a sense of urgency and awareness in me. I don't really know where God is leading me at the moment but I feel that I must be more accountable and disciplined than ever before. Just knowing that there's someone out there that has been watching the way I carry myself is like a microcosm of what God has been doing all along. This is something I really don't get about myself. Shouldn'y the undeniable fact that God is watching should be more than enough to keep myself accountable? Maybe it's my own selfishness that gets in the way of everything. Either way, I want to try and kick my faith up a notch now so I can feel a bit more worthy of being asked to serve in such a way. Maybe this is God's way of answering my prayer.
When it all was happening just a multitude of feelings and thoughts came rushing to my head. Part of me was overwhelmed with joy seeing someone take that next big step in their spiritual journey torwards Christ and seeing how God has worked in their lives already. The other part of me felt so saddened and apologetic just by how far away I really had distanced myself from Christ over the past little while. It was one of the most bittersweet moments I had ever really experienced.
Over the past little while, I had felt myself taking a lot of things for granted and at times I just didn't care. I had found that all my attempts to be disciplined and making the most of all the talent wasn't really going anywhere and it really made me stop and think about why that was. A thought came to me that maybe instead of praying for God to teach me discipline, I'd pray that God fuel that desire in me to know him more, and through that the discipline will come. Maybe that's the lesson that God's been trying to drill in me over the past little while.
Lately, I almost feel that God is trying to prepare me for something. I had the chance to go to Rideau Heights and spend time with the kids up there, I was able to share with my friend how my faith has really affected me, I have my baptism coming up and recently I was asked if I wanted to lead a bible study for the winter retreat. The last one really surprised me. I was amazed by the fact that my name got mentioned when they were looking for people. I'm not sure if I'm even available to do it that weekend, but I'll pray about it.
The one big thing I took out of all of this is knowing that their are people out there who believe that I could be considered a worthy candidate for leading bible study. I can't help but feel honoured. Knowing this really struck a sense of urgency and awareness in me. I don't really know where God is leading me at the moment but I feel that I must be more accountable and disciplined than ever before. Just knowing that there's someone out there that has been watching the way I carry myself is like a microcosm of what God has been doing all along. This is something I really don't get about myself. Shouldn'y the undeniable fact that God is watching should be more than enough to keep myself accountable? Maybe it's my own selfishness that gets in the way of everything. Either way, I want to try and kick my faith up a notch now so I can feel a bit more worthy of being asked to serve in such a way. Maybe this is God's way of answering my prayer.
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