This strange feeling....

It feels like something really amazing and overwhelming is staring me in the face lately. Ever had those moments where a majority of your actions and sacrifices are starting to come together and something happens that sets you off like a dynamo. All those situations that you once thought were horrible memories seem like blessings in disguise when you view it from a different perspective and all those lessons that you learned for yourself seem to hold a greater purpose beyond anything you could imagine.

It's interesting seeing how everything is starting to be drawn out and knowing what needs to be done. It's taking a look at all your shortcomings and realizing that there's no time for self pity and insecurity because others are coming on you. No time to waste dwelling and over contemplating. No time to waste indulging and being satisfied in knowing and believing what can potentially be done but doing it.

I've had those spiritual highs before where I've been caught up in the moment, but it wasn't lasting. I feel like taking the hard road travelled not only because I want to, but because it's demanded of me. I feel it's time to start participating and not spectating. This is not merely momentum, because momentum is a mindset. This is not impulsiveness, because it still lingers in me day after day, minute after minute. I don't believe it's delusion but I must be cautious. I think this feeling I have may be something I've heard numerous times over the course of my spiritual journey but have never been able to grasp the concept until now hopefully...I believe this strange feeling is called passion.

Pray that I can wield it wisely and spread it to others.

Starfield - Outstretched Hands

This is from the Starfield website. http://www.starfieldonline.com/
Excellent Canadian Christian Rock band that's coming to Toronto September 24th!

Here's the lyrics and synopsis about the song "Outstretched Hands". A lot of the themes I find parallel my own life as well as several others. Check it out. I'll write an actual blog later on.

Outstretched Hands

As I write these song stories I'm struck with the themes that are weaved throughout...they tell the story of my journey to know God honestly...in a way that doesn't lie. Though it's somewhat hard to really admit it, I know and am convinced of many things but I still sometimes disbelieve the fundamentals. Pascal said it well, "I’ve seen too much to deny – too little to be sure". It's one thing to know and trust God in times of plenty but a whole other thing to know and trust Him amidst sickness, death, and suffocating doubt. This song is the prayer of the drowning, lost and confused, begging for the ear of God.

Could I talk to You?
Are You listening?
Would You let me ask the questions
That burn inside of me?
I am reaching out
I am holding on
Feel like one of Your affections
But not quite like I belong
Like I belong

I am numb today
Everything's a blur
I've seen too much to deny
Too little to be sure
Like a prodigal
Like a distant son
I can see You from a distance
But I’m too ashamed to come

Will You see me through this valley?
Will You hold my outstretched hands?
As the world caves in around me
Will You help me understand?
Help me understand, help me understand

I am scared to fall
Scared to carry on
Am I losing to the cynic
After running for so long?
There's a child in me
Lost in mystery
But it's buried underneath the earth
Longing to be free