I'm a Book Nerd!

That's right. A book nerd. I have no shame in saying it. Sometimes on a friday or saturday night there's nothing I'd rather do than read. I've also become a huge C.S. Lewis fan! The man can write!

I'm currently reading the book "Miracles" by him, which is a logical and phisophical argument for Miracles and evidence supporting the existence of the supernatural, specifically in reference to the resurrection. I've already got 5 books in the queue for 2007. (Two of them which have been lent/given to me by Geoff. If you're reading this Geoff, you're the man.) . The list goes, in no particular order:

1. The Unquenchable Worshipper - Matt Redman
2. The Wealthy Barber - David Chilton
3. The Automatic Millionaire - David Bach
4. Mere Christianity - C.S. Lewis
5. For one more day - Mitch Albom

My sister gave me "For one more day", which I'm interested to read. Mitch Albom did very well with "Tuesday's With Morrie." "The Wealthy Barber" is actually a book I gave to my brother for Christmas last year and he highly recommended that I read it. For this year, the theme of practical financial advice continued when I got him "Rich Dad, Poor Dad". And I've actually read "Mere Christianity" already, but its a book I want to read again and go further indepth.

I hope all of you had a fantastic Christmas!

Let me know if you have any books you'd recommend.

I've had this post stewing in my head over the past couple of weeks. It all started when I was a pallbearer for my friend's grandfather's funeral. The pastor speaking talked about how we go through life with this constant feeling of inadequacy and more often then not our action reflect are more of an attempt to fill that God-sized void. That same God-sized void that causes people who chase after fame, money, pleasure thinking that it would fill them only to find that it never does.

All of us have our own inadequacies. We all have imperfections. By falling short of the God's mark, we are incomplete. The question I've constantly asked to God is: "In your eyes, am I good enough?" and "Do you look upon me with favour?". For there is a sense of desperation to make up for lost time, thinking to myself, if I push hard enough I can get myself on level ground. The more I try, the more I find how far off the mark I really am. So far off that its impossible to get myself on level ground doing things on my own accord, no matter how well intentioned or how much in line with Christ I think my actions may be.

The humbling truth is that without God I am wholly inadequate. Sometimes my decision making isn't based on what I desired to do, but more what I desire to run far away from.
It seems like I'm left with two options in the present: Either I can go and tackle as many of my inadequacies as possible or I can try to find peace with them. To focus solely on the fore would take a lifetime at the expense of building relationship. To focus solely on the latter would deny God in transforming me.

The reality is, God calls me to do both. While doing either action may be good, it isn't necessarily Godly. What counts is whether or not I trust God completely with how to change me. Whether or not I fully submit to God. What gets forgotten is that God is infinitesimally bigger than me and he's got a plan. Jesus came to give us full life did he not? It can only happen if I strive to completely persue God, which leaves me with one response: Screw my inadequacies, I want life.

Surprises

When I was home, I noticed there was sheet music for "How Great Thou Art" sitting on our piano. Those of you who know my story know full well I'm the only Christian in my family. So seeing that music peaked my curiosity. I was downstairs later when I heard someone playing it on the piano. Low and behold, it was none other than my mom who was playing it. I don't think I've ever seen my mom play the piano up until this point. It turns out "How Great Thou Art" was my mom's favourite hymn growing up (she was brought up Catholic), and interestingly enough we had played part of that song for service.

The big stunner was finding out that both my mom and dad had actually attended the 8:15 service earlier that day. The last time they'd set foot in a church was when I was baptized 2+ years ago. Before that....possibly when Nintendo was first coming out. It's the encouragement I've been needing. Intermittently, I had been praying for my family, but it feels like my prayers had become a broken record. In my head, I know God has heard my prayers, but the struggle has been for my will to harmonize with that conviction. For my faith to surface. It's comforting to know that I'm not going through this struggle by myself and God is doing his thing. I feel ashamed for doubting.

This absolutely made my day. It made this morning's rather choppy worship a distant memory. On a side note, I've finally completed my section of the scrapbook our Panama family is sending out to Ricky. Oh, and for the record, Jennifer Duncan is the definition of scrapbook fanatic. Have a good week!