Identity Crisis?

Sometimes I feel absolutely lost in my identity. The amazing and at times scary thing when God transforms you is that you no longer really recognized your old self. While you can get so caught up in the process of God molding you into the person he calls you to be, there always that phase where you no longer who you were beforehand and not the finished product. You are a work currently in progress that is undergoing a drastic change. It's tough to find words to define yourself.

I've had several moments where I've just asked God and myself "Who am I?" with the first response that intuitively comes to mind is: "I am a Christian." It's at this point that I'm tempted to dismiss this initally unsatisfying answer as mere fact and tell myself "Umm...that's great...and...?"

Then it dawns on me that its not the answer that is at fault but my attitude towards what it means. Being a Christian is not a title, nor is a boring set of rules to live by, but my identity. My declaration to the world what I'm about. There shouldn't be the necessity to catagorize themselves by personality traits that are constantly changing with time. Doing so is to set boundaries of who you are for the sake of easing the immediate uncertainty and as such, is a sin. Your personality should always be a reflection of the Holy Spirit living in you, not the centre-stage.

If your identity in Christ isn't something that doesn't resonate through your body with joy and fill you with hope, then the question may lie in your attitude or understanding of your faith. Christ died on the cross for us. He gave up everything so that we may be free.

The Paradox Of Our Time

I heard this at PromiseKeepers this weekend from the one and only Mike "Pinball" Clemons. You'll never find a more genuine person in this lifetime. Very insightful.

We have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints.

We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time;

We have more degrees, bue less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.

We know too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too seldom, and watch TV too much.

We have multiplied out possessions, but reduced our values.

We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life; we've added years to life, not life to years.

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbour.

We've conquered outer space, but not inner space.

We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.

We've split the atom, but not our prejudice.

We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less.

We build more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; tall men, and short character; steep profits, and shallow relationships.

There are the times of world peace, but domestic warfarel more leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition.

There are the days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes.

These are days of quick trips, disposable daipers, throw-away morality, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer to quiet, to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom.

Indeed these are the times.

Ready to Let Go

"It's important in life to conclude things properly. Only then can you let go. Otherwise you are left with words you should have said but never did, and your heart is heavy with remorse."

Excerpt from Life of Pi

When September rolled around, It was strange not moving back to Kingston in 4 years. It suddenly dawned on me that now I'm officially entering that new phase of my life still torn between wanting to reconnect with so many lost friends who've came back and wanting to jump start my career and future.

When I came across this sentence, it just hit me how much I will miss it all. A sadness just overwhelmed me at the thought of it. The Queen's student ghetto, my ECE family, the CBC's and most importantly KCCF. It's so hard to say good-bye to something that's brought so much to your life. Correction. That showed you life. You just wish you could go back and give more even though school was the top priority there.

Time has an uncanny way of sneaking by. Days become weeks become months become years. Six months ago, I wasn't ready to say good-bye to university. It was all too abrupt. Now I'm more prepared.

Too everyone who helped me change and given me to confidence to believe in something greater. Something true. To those who shared with my joys and struggles. You all have my undying gratitude. A person can only be so lucky to come across wonderful friends in this lifetime.

I have two desires. One is to never forget and the other is to pay it forward. When we cross paths again, I can't wait to show you the changes that God continues to make in my life and I can't wait to hear about the adventure he's put forth for you. I'm ready to move forward, ready to let go, but I won't forget the memories. Until we meet again.