I had the strangest feeling yesterday. Out of nowhere, all these thoughts and fears just came at me. Worried about summer school, worried about work, worried about relationships with friends, faith...anything and everything. It was as if whatever confidence that had resided in me had been momentarily shattered leaving me with a feeling of absolute vulnerability.

It's left me really wondering what it's purpose. Is it a sign to say that I'm not truly giving my all to God? Is something driving a wedge between me and my faith? Is God letting me know that even with faith I shouldn't get this feeling of invincibility? Maybe it's all of these. Just trying to comprehend everything that is going on blows my mind completely and leaves me in mental limbo. The only thing I know that makes any sense is to just pray for an answer and further reacquaint myself with the holy spirit.

I get the feeling that in the end, that's what this is all about. A reminder that he is always there and always more than willing to show us the way whenever we're lost, so long as we always keep him in mind in everything we do. If this is the intended purpose, then today faith has won a major victory.

A little devotion

A friend forwarded this to me. I thought it was kind of interesting. Enjoy!

My wife loves antiques. I don't. (I find them a bit old). But because I love my wife I occasionally find myself guiding three children through an antique store while Denalyn shops.

Such is the price of love.

The secret to survival in a shop of relics is to find a chair with an old book and settle down for long-haul. That's what I did yesterday. After cautioning the kids to look with their eyes and not with their hands, I sat down in an overstuffed rocker with some Life magazines from the fifties.

That's when I heard the music. Piano music . Beautiful music. Vintage Rogers and Hammerstein. The hills were alive with the sound of someone's skill at the keyboard. I turned to see who was playing, but couldn't see anyone. I stood and walked closer. A small group of listeners had gathered at the old upright piano. Between the furniture I could see the small back of the pianist. Why, it's only a child! With a few more steps I could see her hair. Short, blonde, and cute like ... my heart it's Andrea!

Our seven year old was at the piano, her hands racing up and down the keyboard. I was stunned. What gift of heaven is this that she can play in such a way? Must be a time released gene she got from my side of the family. But as I drew closer, I saw the real reason. Andrea was “playing” a player piano. She wasn't making the music, she was following it. She wasn't commanding the keyboard; she was trying to keep up with it. Though it appeared she was playing the song, in reality, she was trying to keep up with one already written. When a key would dip, her hands would dash.

Oh, but if you could have seen her little face, delighted with laughter! Eyes dancing as would her feet had she been able to stands and play at the same time. I could see why she was so happy. She sat down to attempt “chopsticks”: but instead played “The sound of music”. What's more, she couldn't fail. One greater than she was dictating the sound. Andrea was free to play as much as she wanted, knowing the music would never suffer.

It's no wonder she rejoiced. She had every reason to. And so do we.

Hasn't God promised the same to us? We sit at the keyboard, willing to play the only song we know, only to discover a new song. A sublime song. And nobody is more surprised than we are when out meager efforts are converted into melodious moments.

You have one, you know, a song all you own. Each of us does. The only question is, will you play it? By the way, as I watched Andrea “play” that day in the antique store I observed a couple of things. I noticed the piano got all the credit. The gathered crowd appreciated Andrea's efforts, but they knew the real source of the music.

When God works, the same is true. We may applaud the disciple, but no one knows better than the disciple who really deserves the praise.But that doesn't keep the disciple from sitting at the bench. It sure didn't keep Andrea from sitting at the piano. Why? Because she knew she couldn't fail. Even thought she didn't understand how it worked, she knew it did.So she sat at the keyboard – and had the time of her life.Even though you may not understand how God works, you know he does.

So go ahead. Pull up a bench, take you seat at the piano, and play.

The Need For Personal Interaction

With the way we seem to go about our lives, busy going about our work, busy trying to prepare for the future, busy trying to survive the present, it leaves the question of how much time do we really give ourselves for our friends? Sometimes we get caught up so much in our own ambitions that we sometimes neglect what may arguably the most important priorities in our lives, our family and friends.

It seems as though so much of how we keep in touch is reduced down to non personal interaction. I'm talking about the MSN, the ICQ, the web chats. While, I recognize the convienience and distractions of these programs, sometimes I find I get in the nasty habit of making it my main module of keeping in touch. Yes, there are times when it is better to use MSN, but as a main mode? I refuse to believe that. I view it as doing the bare social minimum, yet it seems like it's the exact direction our society is heading.

I know this because it is something that I've been guilty of doing numerous times. Restricting myself to the safety net otherwise known as MSN. I hope I never get to a point where "lol" replaces laughter and ":)" takes over seeing a real smile or get to a point where the quantity of conversations that I have replace the quality. In this post-modern, high-paced society we find ourselves in, it seems the importance of having that personal interaction is greater than ever. Without it, what are we really left with?