Being a kid born and raised in Oakville and having done my schooling at Queen's, I definitely can't say I grew up in a rough or tough neighbourhood. Not to say I didn't have my own challenges growing up (which there were) or that we weren't exposed to things like drugs or teenage sex (it's gotten a lot worse I've been told), but overall I'd say I've been rather protected from a lot of worse things. I've always heard of stories where the kid leaves their parents home at an early age because of the domestic situation, drops out or doesn't go beyond university; gets into drugs; maybe did the deed and wound up having a kid or two and can barely get by.
I remember when I used to work as an Office Clerk in The Exhibition's Cleaning department did I meet such characters. I don't really know what their circumstances were or what were the choices they made, all I know is that seeing it scared the death out of me and motivated me want to work as hard as I can.
It's hard to fathom that this is someone's reality. Admittedly and selfishly, I'd actually prefer not to fathom it. On saturday, Dave and I were planning on seeing the Borat movie (which was a pretty brutal movie) at Yorkdale. Unfortunately the original show was sold out and we had to settle for the 10:30 show, giving us 2 1/2 hours to kill. We ran into Eddy and Shirley in Yorkdale oddly enough.
In any event, to kill time we went to the Chapters to look at books. I was looking around in the Christian section when a young woman came up and asked me if there's a book I could recommend to help her through some problems she's been having. In her words: "I really need a book to help me out because I've just been through a lot over the past two days." We came across a book that was suitable for her but she could barely afford it. It's at this point God tells me to buy her this book and more importantly, hear her story.
It turns out this person was brought up in the church and raised in a church home, fell away from Christ but came back three years ago. She felt that the church wasn't there for her in her time of need and there were issues going on at home. Left the church and her family a long time ago and moved out on her own. She looks like she's in her mid twenties, so I was left speechless when I found out she had a 10 and an 8 year old. She was in a common law arraingement with her fiance, whose an unbeliever and had physically abused her two days prior on suspicion that she was cheating on him. She immediately moved out and doesn't know if she can make ends meet and has no family support. All I can remember is her saying "What am I going to do, how am I going to make this month?" Desperate.
To me, it's black and white. If she's in an abusive relationship, then he's forfeited his role as husband (common-law or not) and father figure. No matter how dire her financial situation may be, it can't justify going back and exposing her kids to a potentially dangerous and spiritually toxic environment. The only thing that I could suggest was for her to make amends with her mom and stop running away from everything that happened to her in the past. I prayed for her before she had to leave.
I'll admit, there's a skeptical side of me that wonders if this was a scam, but for the most part, I think everything she said was true. Another side of me can't help but wonder if she's ever taken ownership of the choices she's made or if she blames others. Nonetheless, this is reality for her. I feel for her kids because they're the ones who get hurt the most. I wonder if they'll make it through. There's no doubt, I believe God will provide for them. It's just that they'll go through so many struggles that I could never begin to comprehend. When I play everything back in my head, I think of how many things had to happen to make that situation unfold. Thank you God for that opportunity. I feel nothing but humility.
