My Lesson in Humbleness

One of the hopes that I had coming into this year was that volunteering opportunities would come their and give me a chance to give me the chance to help out. A chance to give something back after receiving so much. That's when I heard the announcement about Transformers at fellowship. Transformers is a group within CCF that goes out around Kingston and helps in the community, whether it be shoveling snow, soup kitchen or spend time with kids. When I heard it, I figured, this is exactly what I was looking for.

This past Saturday, a group of us volunteered our afternoons to help out the Salvation Army with their Rally Day, an event organized within Rideau Heights of Kingston. It's suppose to be a day of fun activities for kids around the area. Stuff like playing basketball or soccer with these kids, giving them cotton candy, spray painting on the graffiti walls and so on. Essentially, just giving the kids lots of attention and care. All the kids are incredibly sweet, especially the little ones under 8 years old who have not a care in the world. Of course, interacting with kids has never really been my strength, so I just try to ask questions and let the kids do all the talking, with me trying to put in the occasional words of wisdom that I've acquired through 21 years.

Something that was really interesting was that one of the coordinators, an incredibly nice guy named Bram, was telling me about the type of family situations these kids are coming from while we're picking up garbage. More often than not, these kids are from single parents, mother's most of the time. The father is either serving time in the local penitentiary or gone the way of a dead beat. These kids very often have more than 4 siblings, sometimes not coming from the same parent. The families themselves tend to live in government housing and are more often than not on the move all around the area. This on it's own makes it really hard for them to develop a group of friends because they can't settle down.

The whole day was a lot of fun, just playing around with the kids and putting a smile on they're face. One thing I start realizing is that I can't even begin to comprehend what their lives must or have been like. Comparing that to what my childhood was like and it makes me realize how incredibly blessed and unworthy I am to have what I have. There's a bit of irony to it as well. When I had the chance to talk to the kids, I try to pass along any bit of advice I could offer. In the end though, I really think that I learned more just from being at Rally Day than the kids did from me. I learned a lot about trying to be humble and trying to really appreciate what we have. Especially in the rough times, when we think we have absolutely nothing, we probably have so much more than we ever really imagine. The circumstances that we find ourselves in is absolutely incredible. Today, I just thank God for opening my eyes a bit more.

Kindness

This is my favourite worship song by Chris Tomlin, Jesse Reeves and Louis Giglio. Each and every word in the lyrics reminds me of why God is so important in our lives. It never fails to calm my heart.

Open up the skies of mercy
Rain down the cleansing flood
Healing waters rise around us
Hear our cries Lord, let ‘em rise

It’s Your kindness Lord, that leads us to repentance
Your favor Lord is our desire
It’s Your beauty Lord, that makes us stand in silence
And Your love, Your love is better than life

We can feel Your mercy falling
You are turning our hearts back again
Hear our praises rise to heaven
Draw us near Lord, meet us here

Challenge to Commit

I went to a praise and power on sunday and one of the topics that praise and power leader talked about was commiting ourselves towards God in the coming school year regardless of how busy our lives get. It's been less than two weeks into the school year and already I find I'm having trouble doing just that.

It seems like there are so many opportunities open to me just waiting for the taking. So many choices to make that can have long term consequences. So many things to decide without nearly enough time to think it through. So many DISTRACTIONS. I'd like to try and do it all, but I can't. Something has to give. Already, when I've acknowledged that living for myself is a dead end, no sooner do I revert back to my old ways.

This leads me to the KCCF's theme this year, discipline. It's actually a very relevant theme to me personally because it's something I've struggled with all my life regardless if you equate discipline to being a routine or discipline being a commitment. Either way call it my most glaring weakness. I have more than enough trouble trying to maintain a steady commitment to everything. This year already is testing me to the limits on everything imaginable and I can't forsee it getting easier. It was the hope that focus and faith would prepare me for the tests that await but it doesn't look that way.

It shouldn't be an excuse though. Regardless of the circumstances, I have to keep running the race. These next 8 months I have to challenge myself to make commitment to discipline. A passionate commitment such that the words that I type and say to myself aren't merely just words.

A lesson in Humbleness

Sometimes we just forget how good we have it. When things aren't going exactly the way we want or when the pressure gets too much or whatever it is, sometimes we complain that our lives are at a complete low and we'd just like to stop trying. Everyone's gone through these times gaurenteed. You're not living if you haven't.

A friend from fellowship returned from his trip to Nepal towards the end of the summer and told me many stories about there. The country itself is very poor in terms of wealth and living standards. We may consider ourselves poor students, but we could honestly live like kings over there if we wanted. In terms of possessions, families tend to have very little. However, one of the most interesting observations he noticed was that even though they very little in terms of physical wealth, they're still happy. All the have is each other, and that is all they need. A very simple life.

Another realization was how fortunate we are to have such essentials as medical supplies. Such things as anestetics aren't automatically provided for any surgical operations. I heard another story about a 12 year old girl working in a factory when a loose electrical cable falls down on a pool of water she's standing on and sends electricity though her body giving her third degree burns. The burns on her leg are so bad that they have to amputate it to prevent infection from spreading. She has to get the bandages on her face replaced every 24 hours (I think it's 24 hours). All this without anestetic. Apparently, this isn't anything out of the ordinary. I only saw the picture and it made me cringe, I can't begin to imagine what it must have been like to be there.

Now I wasn't there to witness it, so I'll most likely need my own story of humbleness to truly appreciate what God has given me. When I do though, every little thing that I seem to complain about not going right in my life becomes trivial in comparison. This journey I find is a lot tougher than I ever could've imagined.

Looking Back and Ahead

I had it all planned out four months ago. My crazy attempt to juggle faith, work, schooling, sports, friends and the sort, thinking that I'm a superman and can do all it with God's help. It seems as though I at times still try to be the one in the driver's seat of my life and God's there for me, when it really should be the other way around. At times, it still is one of the toughest things to accept. Simply put, I crashed and burned on most of my goals.

But I'm not the least dissapointed. Why should I be? I've been blessed with the opportunity to meet so many awesome people and find out more about who I am as a person. As if God is building the foundation in me for whatever direction he wants me to take in the future.

I wish I knew what the future has in store for me. Like many others right now, there's a sense of fear, excitement, sadness and joy coming back. Knowing that this is fourth year, that there will be a lot of good friends I won't be able to see as often and knowing the real world is breathing down my neck. I guess the reality is that I have to be ready to step out and be a positive example to the new group of kids much the way countless others have been positive examples to me. I pray that I'm ready for it. I can't wait to find out.

Another Devotion

Here's another devotion that came to me. I found that it that it put things in pretty good perspective for me.

Enjoy!~

"ok, now i have to deal with these guys. Rebellious as they are, they're still my most treasured work, so i have to save this somehow.

I could just give them a pass to heaven as it is. But since i'm perfect, and they're not....if i just let them come here now, they'd be staying really far from me. Like infinitly far, as far as perfection is from imperfection. I don't want that, the whole point of having them come here is so we can finally, at long last, enjoy each other's company. I don't want them far far away from me when they come here....

Well, i could just LET them come close to me......wait...that doesn't work, i'm perfect, they're not.....

if i let them come close, then that would mean i'd have to be imperfect....a perfect being with imperfections is just plain imperfect......and i can't really change myself to be imperfect.....

Ok.....so it looks like the best option i have now is to make them perfect. Well, i've already seen that they can't do it on their own. Some of these guys have really tried, and i'd have to applaud them for their efforts, but they're not even close. It's like jumping for the moon and cheering when you gain an extra 2 inches on your 1 foot jump........not even close......

So....i have to make them perfect.....but how.....hmm....i could just do it the old fashion moses way, have something take their imperfections for them.....but if i'm goin to do this in one shot for all of these people, it's gotta be more than like a sheep or a cow.....an animal just can't bear all of these guy's imperfections.....

so the sacrifice this time has to be a person, i really don't have anything bigger or higher to use in all of my creation......but that'd be kinda silly......because a person's final end is to die for their imperfections anyways....so if i call someone to die early for everyone's sin, it wouldn't be much of a sacrifice because that person was SUPPOSED to die in the end.....

not to mention dying isn't enough, moses knew that.....today's imperfections, even yesterday's imperfections, can be erased by passing it to something, to someone. But what about tommorow's, or the day after's?......that's why they just keep sacrificing, because their imperfections were just piling up day after day.....

no no no....just dying won't do....i need someone who will write a new ending for them....someone who will take their imperfections, their consequences, and reset them completely....someone who will not only take on their imperfections, but overcomes them as well....

and since death is the price of imperfection, i guess overcoming death makes the most sense...

ok.....let's take a look at the plan here.....i need someone who's blameless....who isn't supposed to die in the first place.....and someone who can overcome death....so that my creations don't have to die over and over again for each other..... "

God looks to the one sitting to the right of his throne, and breathes a deep sigh.

"this is the only way....."

Simply Imagine

I'll admit, I never thought in this lifetime that I'd actually take up reading as leisure activity. But surprisingly enough, I'm really enjoying it. It's something relaxing, something enlightening, something for yourself. The words have this awesome ability to tell a story, re-open a mind that can often feel a bit dulled by the school or work, inspire the imagination.

Remember that word, imagination? That thing you used to have an abundance of when you were a child when life was so carefree. I dunno, sometimes I feel as I'm doing so much, focused so much on the immedate task at hand that I've forgotten what it feels like to let the mind wander a bit. To simply let the mind work. I believed that the way my mind always worked was in this straightforward analytical, logical manner. Befitting of the engineer that is me.

Yet somehow, I get the feeling that there's something more that's inside of me. A creative side that slowly starting to resurface, possibly from the all that reading, possibly from simply remembering the existance of the imagination.

In the end, I can't help but be amazed by it all. Even when I think I know myself completely, my likes and dislikes, something comes along and shows me how much more there is to discover. Something to rekindle that imagination. And really, I wouldn't want it any other way.

Conclusion of the fourty day challenge

Fourty days ago I issued myself a challenge to pray for fourty straight days in order to achieve a better sense and understanding of God and Christ. Truth be told, there were a couple of days where I neglected to pray which didn't make my challenge a complete success, but I do feel there's quite a bit that has changed over that period.

Slowly, I think I can begin to understand what makes prayer so special. When its praying for others/myself or thanking God for what I have it allows to me to express that love and kindness for other when I may have trouble showing on my own. It acknowledges what I have and reminds me that there's a lot to be thankful for in this life, in both happiness and hardships.

There's definitely more to be said about the topic, and I'm not sure if there's a major point that I maybe be missing. I'm still trying to put it all together. A friend of mine recently left me with some encouraging words: "God doesn’t care where you are Spiritually. He just cares that you’re seeking Him and wanting to know Him more." So that being said, any thoughts you want to add on, by all means.